Christianity. Post-Atheism (Click this icon to Subscribe)

I have something burning within my chest and I just have to get it out. Please bear with me.

How many people have you seen turn to God because someone argued them into it? If you know of even one please let me know because that will be the first time I've heard of such actions working. Look into your bibles and tell me when Jesus spent an extraordinary amount of time arguing the perks of living life with God. Jesus said what needed to be said and moved on. If someone's eyes and/or ears haven't been opened by God I don't think there's anything we can say or do to change that fact. That's an area where only God can move. We need to know our roles.

When I was an atheist if a Christian tried to argue their beliefs against mine it just solidified my reasons for not believing in their God. If they took the time to argue my beliefs it told me that they weren't comfortable in their own faith, and that quite possibly, I was onto something. Something that made them uncomfortable. And that made me happy.

You see, when you don't believe in God, a Creator, you are faced with the possibility that life is meaningless. What's the point in being here? Why do anything? These are tough questions to handle, so it only made sense to me that somewhere during the course of history, in order to cope with the loneliness and pointlessness of life, humans created "God" to make themselves feel better, to give life meaning, and probably to try to maintain some form of moral order among society. Naturally, I viewed Christians as weak individuals who needed a crutch. Oh, and they were bitter, wanted everyone's money, and only cared about their "God" while in church.

It sounds silly and a bit like an ABC Family movie, but all I really wanted was for someone to care. For someone to take the time to get to know me, and accept me despite my flaws. I wanted to be held because I hurt. I was drowning because everywhere I turned was bitterness, judging eyes, and pain. I wasn't searching for someone to beat me down for my mistakes. I didn't need someone to argue with me for an hour about how much I needed Jesus. What I needed most was never offered to me because they were too busy trying to prove themselves right.

The only person who loved me unconditionally, and I knew it without any doubt whatsoever, was my mother. I eventually decided life without God was meaningless and I, in turn, was worthless. I was going to overdose on various medications found throughout my mom's house, and considering she's a nurse, she had quite a [legal] collection. I was going to do it late at night after my mom and step-dad had gone to bed. She would find me unresponsive in bed the next morning. Quiet and without attention, exactly as I like everything. But because of everything my mom had done for me, the love she had shown me despite my disappointing her over and over, I would do one last thing for her. She had asked me to go on a trip with her church. I certainly didn't want to go, but I went.

Long story short, I don't remember a single word that was said by a singer, speaker, teacher, or anyone that went on the trip with me. What I do know is that on a Saturday night while sitting amongst close to 20,000 people God told me he loved me. And I did have a purpose. And regardless of all the stupid things I'd said, done, or thought he still loved me. So there I sat, a shy and quiet twenty year old who'd shut everyone and everything out of his heart, with a multitude of humanity surrounding me with tears streaming down my face. Because somehow, and for some reason, this God who I didn't know, cared about me. And as I sat there I thought about how close I was to ending my life. To destroying his purpose for me. Of breaking the heart of someone who loved me so. Non-Christians and Christians alike didn't care about my problems. I had given up. But he hadn't.

So let me ask you this. What message are we sending? The truth of God's holiness and our inability to live up to those expectations is important. However, the good news of the gospel is that we no longer have to be perfect to live in communion with God. Jesus has already made it so. We can't earn it, so please, let us stop teaching that God's satisfaction with us is dependent upon our actions. Doing so greatly reduces our view of Jesus as savior and, honestly, seems like a slap to the face of the Creator. Let us love unconditionally just as we are loved unconditionally. And yes, that means we need to love those who don't share our views. What good are we when we only love and serve those who are like us? Where would I be had someone not loved me unconditionally? Rotting in a casket somewhere and all the Christians from my past would be saying, "Well, I tried to tell him." Yeah. Thanks.

I don't care if you agree with me, and if you want to argue about something I said, don't. Just think about it and if you disagree that's perfectly fine with me, just don't waste my time with an argument. There are much better ways to spend our days. We are meant to be God's presence in a broken world. Would Jesus be sitting around telling people how horrible they are? No, he'd be healing the sick, comforting the afflicted, and having dinner with the people to whom we turn our noses.

"On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." Matthew 9:12

"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39

posted by Justin on 04/08/2011

What Do I Know (Click this icon to Subscribe)

I've been in Virginia Beach for over three months now. In some ways it feels like I just arrived last week, but in another sense it seems like I've been here for years. I still feel like the "new guy," but my life in Kentucky seems so far away now. Perhaps it's due to the inevitability of change that comes with time and growth. Or maybe it's simply my bad memory getting the best of me. I've transitioned well, but I do miss my close family. I'm a "Mama's Boy" and I'm not ashamed.

I'm not homesick at all. I don't miss Kentucky. It will always be the "homeland," but I'm glad I got out. And it's nothing against Kentucky or those who live within its borders (which includes nearly all of my family), I simply can't imagine any series of events that would enable me to have any sort of future there. I've seemingly known for much of my life that I needed to leave.

I don't know where I'll be in twenty years. Maybe I'll be here. Maybe I'll be in Oklahoma. Or Japan. Or Australia. Or dead. There are different schools of thought on how to live life, the planning involved, and what makes us successful. I'm sure there are many who would say I'm being irresponsible by not having some sort of long term plan, but honestly, I don't care about what's labeled "smart".

What do I know about the future? Regardless of my location and situation God holds it all in His hand. He's seen it all and He knows exactly how I'm going to react. He knows when I'm going to screw up and when I'm going to doubt, but He also knows when I'm going to shine. What's my plan? To simply allow God to lead me wherever He wishes. God's given me a worldwide vision. For a small town boy it's hard to come to terms with such a thing. I still have a hard time actually telling someone about it because I don't think people believe I have the ability. And honestly, I don't. But I believe anything is possible as long as I'm surrendered to God.

You: "You really have this kind of faith?"

Me: "Yes. I don't believe in a faith that only requires minimal effort. What kind of faith is that? Whatever we do, I think we should do it with overwhelming zeal. Don't hold back. Hot or cold. There's no room for lukewarm."

But who am I to say?

posted by Justin on 04/08/2011